Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
