highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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