im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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