he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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