btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
