you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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