I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it glows. i had to have it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize