i think my mom watched the whole time
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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