Please, let me fuck your mom
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
