So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
