You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Randomize
