Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
