Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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