apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
