This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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