no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
