I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
