winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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