You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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