Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
