Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
