My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
