I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize