lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
A+ Viking dick
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
