Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
