I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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