Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
