don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
