Your tits are I can't wait for
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
