Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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