it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
