I could have mohawked her pubes.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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