nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
