Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
God I need to hump something, right now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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