He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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