CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
