i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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