I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
