Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
