You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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