he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
