New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
