How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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