Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can I color on your dick again?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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