I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
