I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize