For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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