I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
