Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize