So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize