from now on my penis is your penis
I faked an abortion last night.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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