No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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