We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
