oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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