and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
