the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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