some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
