come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
