: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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