Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
