the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
