My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
