That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
